Lover Reborn (Black Dagger Brotherhood #10)

Lover Reborn (Black Dagger Brotherhood #10) Page 73

For truth, Autumn had not been sure she would come unto the mansion... until she did. And she had not been sure how she would feel about Tohrment... until she saw him searching the crowd and knew he was looking for her. And she did not completely open her heart to him... until he reached out for her, his control breaking the moment he locked eyes with her.

She had loved him before now - or had thought she did.

But she had not been all the way there. The critical part that had been missing was a sense of herself not as somebody who was unworthy and had to be punished, but as an individual with value and a life to live beyond the tragedy that had defined her for so long.

As she stepped forward, it was not as a servant or a maid, but as a female of worth... one who was going to go to her male, and embrace him, and be joined with him for as long the Scribe Virgin deemed.

Except she didn't make it.

She was not even halfway across the foyer when her body was struck by some kind of force.

She could not comprehend what o'ertook her: One moment she was striding toward Tohr, answering his silent plea that she come to him, crossing over the floor, zeroing in on the one she loved....

And the next, a great light fell upon her from some unknown source, halting her in her tracks.

Her will commanded her body to continue to Tohr, but a greater force laid claim to her, and take her it did: With a pull that was as undeniable as gravity, she was drawn up from the earth, into the light. And as she was lifted upward, she heard Lassiter screaming, and saw him surge forward as if he wanted to stop her departure -

That was what energized her to flail against the current. Struggling fiercely, she fought with all she had, but there was no freeing herself from what had captured her: No matter how she battled, she could not alter her ascension.

Down below, chaos reigned, people racing forward as Tohr dragged himself up off the floor. As he regarded her, his face was a mask of confusion and disbelief - and then he began to leap up as if he were trying to catch her, as if she were a balloon, the string of which he sought to palm. Someone grabbed him as he lost his balance - John. And the Primale rushed to his side. And his Brothers...

Her last image was not of any of them, not even of Tohrment, but of Lassiter.

The angel was beside her, rising as well, the light consuming them both until he disappeared and so did she, until she was nothing at all, not even conscious....

When Autumn came to once again, she was in a vast white landscape, one so wide and so long that it had no horizons.

Before her was a door. A white door with a white knob and a glow around its jambs as if there was a bright light awaiting her on the other side.

This had not been what had greeted her when she'd first died.

Back years and years ago, when her consciousness had returned to her after she had inflicted that dagger upon her own stomach, she had found herself in a different white landscape, one that had trees and temples and rolling lawns, one that was populated by the Scribe Virgin's Chosen females, one that she had gone on to live in without question, accepting her fate as not one of her choosing, but the inevitable result of her choices down below.

This, however, was not the Sanctuary. This was the entrance unto the Fade.

What had happened?

Why had she -

The explanation came to her in a rush as she realized that she had finally let the past go and opened her heart to embrace all that life had to offer... thus freeing herself from her own In Between - even as she had been unaware she had been within it.

She was out of the In Between. She was... free.

But Tohrment was down below.

Her body began to shake, rage shooting through her, the anger so deep and abiding she wanted to claw through the door and have a harsh word with the Scribe Virgin or Lassiter's Maker or whoever the sick bastard was who dealt out fates.

After having traversed the great distance from where she had first started, only to find that the prize was nothing but another sacrifice, she was livid to the point of violence.

Not holding anything back, she let herself go, throwing herself at the portal, beating at it with her fists, tearing at it with her nails, kicking at it with her feet. She uttered curses that were vile and called the holy forces names that were villainous -

When arms shot around her waist and began to drag her back, she attacked whoever it was, baring her fangs and biting into the thick forearm -

"Fucking hell! Ouch!"

Lassiter's indignant voice cut into her temper, stilling her body until she just heaved to catch her breath.

The damn door was utterly uninjured. Uncaring. Unmoved.

"You bastards," she hollered. "You bastards!"

The angel turned her around and shook her. "Listen to me - you're not helping here. You need to calm the fuck down."

With a force of will, she pulled herself together. And then promptly sobbed. "Why? Why are they doing this to us?"

He shook her again. "Listen to me. I don't want you to open that door - just stay here. I'm going to do what I can, okay? I don't have a lot of pull, I may not have any at all - but I'll give it a fucking shot. You stay right where you are, and for the love of God, do not open that thing. Once you do, you're in the Fade and I can't do shit. Are we clear?"

"What are you going to do?"

He stared at her for a long moment. "Maybe I'm finally going to be an angel tonight."

"Wha -  I don't understand...?"

Lassiter reached forward and cupped the side of her face. "You two have done so much for me - hell, we've all been in our own In Betweens, in a way. So I'm going to offer up everything I've got to save the pair of you - we'll see if it's enough."

She clasped a hold on to his hand. "Lassiter..."

He stepped back and nodded to her. "You stay here and don't get your hopes up. The Maker and I have not had the best relationship - I may just get incinerated on the spot. In which case, no offense, but you're screwed."

Lassiter turned away and walked into the whiteness, his big body disappearing.

Closing her eyes, Autumn tucked her arms around herself and prayed for the angel to work a miracle.

Prayed with everything she had...